Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales.

Hi. I'm in a studio. Well, I call it a studio ... / No, you are not. / ... not a studio, as Korkey correctly corrects me, I'm in a tiny little ... what do they call it? ... contribution studio, where ... where, if, uh, you haven't got any __ __ __ sometimes on __ ... on __ BBC / on the news things / interview with somebody / different place / one of those places where __ interview people / about 6 f_ square / like / interrogation room / carpet on the wall. We've been here before. This is nothing new to our regular listeners, but, um, __, somebody who's just joined the show for the first time might be surprised to hear that we do this show from a 6-foot carpeted box with absolutely nothing in whatsoever apart from two little chairs, a little table, a little crystal decanter of 1970's water __ __ __ ... how long / have / been doing / occasionally in Swansea, but how long would you say we've been doing the show in this studio, Korkey, occasionally, in __ studio? How long? / Four or five years? / Four or five years. Do you like me think that water's been there since we started doing it? / I can't think of anything, uh, to the contrary. / __ __ glass, about half a dozen / little plastic caps, and then a decanter of ... half a decanter of water. So, __ anybody to claim it / I'm interested / meet / first put out for / what show, for what event / that decanter / somebody thought, "Let's put the deanter out." / Yeah. / It has been here for four or five years. / It has, yeah. / I think today's challenge / be for us to drink / for you to drink it, specifically / for you to drink it. That would be equally as funny, wouldn't it? / No. I've got to hold the fort / You drink the water. / No. I can hold the fort. / You drink the water. / I'm fine. / 遠慮しとく。

I've got a feature. / Yeah? All right. / I've got a ... I thought I'd put the debate, the long-standing ... / Ah, yeah. / ... the long-standing debate in this country. ... And I ... you know, sometimes I feel it myself. I've ... I've had this internal debate today. / Huh huh. / already had this in own head today, this debate, today / OK, / tea or coffee, ... / Huh huh, / ... which is better? / Wow. / You know / Is that it? / Yeah, that's it, yeah. ... Let me just ... let me just find the stimulus. / Really? / Yeah. / Do ... do you need it? / Yeah. / Do you ... you do need it. / __ __ I can't remember why ... why I was bothering with this rubbish. / Huh. / Uh, it was because ... it wasn't just because this morning I couldn't work out / I genuinely ... / I thought it might have been that. / always / work / genuinely delayed by three or four minutes. / Did it? / Yeah. ... I put my alarm on, and I woke up wth exactly the right amount of time to have a cup of tea and coffee / yeah / put a hat on, cleaned my teeth, / house / car / get down to here / parking / car park / get to the studio / by 11 o'clock / huh huh / when the show starts. / but / woke up / for three or four minutes, I couldn't work out / tea or coffee / stand / frozen to the spot? / no, I ... no, / I should have just / I didn't know what to do / did you hold coffee in one hand and tea in the other / look / the other / 片手にコーヒー、片手に紅茶を持って、こっちにしようか、それともこっちにしようかと / do you know / in the end / half way / making a cup of tea / Right. / tea-bag in a cup, / Yeah? / pulled it out, abondaned it, / did you? / and made / instead. / Did you? / Yeah. / Did you leave the tea-bag / as soon as / tasted the coffee / left / yeah / today / coffee / part of it is because I read this feature, right? ... this, uh, / thing in the paper / Yeah? / a little while ago / from / probably a month ago / January the 14th / topical. / ホットなニュースだ。 / Two weeks ago. ... Hey, / coming up / second half / January b__ / Is it? / I think / for a while / yeah / what's the ... / Satirical. / What's the date today? Is it the ... / I thought / not too bad. It's 26. / Oh. Thanks. / Yeah. / Uh ... look, this is what I read. The was in the ... uh .... uh, Daily Mail / January the 14th / within / quite good / should do / this is / for those who those who find "tea or coffee?" a question too far f__ in the morning / here we go / who the hell are they? / well, that's what I thought / idiot / and then suddenly it occurred to me / was / one / make / stood / I almost made both. And I thought / that's crazy / that is crazy / yeah / 'cause / flavour / affected / both / quickly / three / both / to stop / on the way, and you brew__ it anyway / four times in the night. / Yeah, but / covered till Fubruary / if I go again / very disappointed / 44, ladies and gentlemen. It's understandable / For those who / first thing in the morning / had / know / know / Daily Mail / empathize with the idea. / Yeah / researchers / discovered / tea / healthier / play a track / it's not / a tea made from coffee? / A tea made from coffee / press the button / coffee / All right. Let's play / come back to it

Now then, now then, now then ... where were we / Korkey? / tea / that's where we are / making tea out of coffee ... and I thought / recover / but / what / do is / finally / Radio Wales / possibly biggest, most p__ feature of all time, which is, tea versus coffee / literally / head count / any / first / get up / tea / later / try not to have / six. ... Actually, that's what I do / that / realize / just / hang on / exactly what I do / I tend to have / first thing in the morning / See, I have coffee. / Really? / Yeah. / 1 each already / coffee at 11 / any other drinks / I / tea / Really? / Huh huh. / See? This / problem / first thing / anything / I might have / coffee / go back to tea. ... But this morning / woke up / shall I have a coffee / tire / wake me up / delay came this morning / wondering / normal, or coffee as I felt like / did happen / point is, you / tea or coffee / no fussing / that's it / I just wanna do / statistically robust analysis of the nation's / tea / one world / piece of paper / exactly. Right. ... So, what's yours, tea or coffee? / Coffee. / Coffee. ... Right. / apparently, the proucer's just / one a__s vote / coffee / I've gone tea / one / neck and neck, everyone / make / difference / question / on hand. Researchers claim that they've discovered / ultimate brew / tea made from coffee / the coffee-leaf tea / earthy taste / less bitter / not as strong as coffee / high level / lower the risk of / heart / good / or coffee / Why? / I don't know. ... "The coffee / analyzed / __ B__ Garden / tea / usually / sitting / do / little wooden sheds, drinking / nothing else to do / joint research / crop / in / serious stuff, this, mate. / coffee plant / overlooked / not / beans / evidence / coffee leaf tea / such as Ethiopia, south Sudan / Indonesia / failed / how / get leaves into the country? Don't get me wrong / certainly / I think / got / failed to take off / any more / just / excited about it. Don't / rubbish / really boring article, isn't it? / It is boring, yes. That's why / in the first place / non-story / rubbish / run with it. People / bananas on this / anyway, apparently / chocolate / hang on a minute / I'm not joking, mate. / binary comparison between / chocolate / this is / bang up to date / from / a cup of milk / chocolate / boosting / brain / study in / journal / strong link between / chocolate consumption / guess what / IQ? / The number of Nobel Prize winners / OK. / it's true / right / laugh / hang on then / eat / Sweden and Switzerland / per head of pupulation / highest milk consumers / chocolate / hot / made / confusing element / they are being opaque / China drank the least / milk / lowest number of winners / cultural stuff / ruled out all other variables. / they __? Really? / fairly sure / history / get / prize / as much over the years / I'm fairly sure / milk / Chinese / thinks that / I'll leave it for you / now then / hang on / how much milk / the only ... the only / thing / bring hot chocolate / tea / angle / given / tea / automatic __ into / hot / essentially. That's the feature / hot drink of the year / right / down / open / automatic __ to the final / opening up / any other options / I think / we've only got a couple of hours / no / what / Why? / because / hot drink of the year / then / because I know / what / the reason / hot drink / because otherwise / result / have to read out / bunch of insignificant statistics / yeah / single figures / hot chocolate / yes / that is true / make / statistical analysis robust / for example / raspberry / ginger tea / mention / three times / strong contenders / we know / basically / the Liverpool of this / never / make it / win / but / who are tea and coffee, then? / Huh? / Who are tea and coffee? / or Chelsea / what do you mean / over the last few / man / united / lost / Basically, I'm saying / in / context of football / not / I'm not sure / I'm not sure if your football analogy is helping / think / more people out there / tea / football / help / to this / normally, you take something / small level of interest / something / everybody knows about / like tea and coffee / just / help you understand / parts of a car engine / tea would be, like / spark plugs / and then coffee / break cable / everyone / hot chocolate / alternator / people / understand / I / oil / dip / fairness / hot drink / an immediate hierarchy / football league / more / what do you mean / you are using / football terminology / I did start / football analogy / hot chocolate is Tottenham / I don't care / what football team / also / people / understand this / year / tea, coffee, or / ginger / tea / coffee / come and get involved / 1 o'clock / hot / up there / hot drink of the year / could be in / seriously / OK. Fine. Right.

I knew it. / tea / hot drink / hot / feel free to ignore that. Um ... I knew / kick / coffee / tea / hot drink of the year / Rhod Gilbert / big one / coffee / black / no sugar / says / that's it / yeah / I'm not sure about this feature, mate / soon / get / interested / result / end / establishes once and for all / king / feel / hot / I'm looking forward to / sure / in Cardiff / ask for / more interesting / like / tea / smell of both / I drink / hot / chocolate / but don't like the smell / tell / think / interesting content / something / taste of some drinks / smell / that is unusual / fascinating / hot / my vote / gets my vote / somebody / well, at the moment / three for coffee / there we are / Rhod, firstly / of course it's not / hang on. What do you mean / squash / no, it's not / no, it's not / what / think / say / over and over again / it is / argument / genuinely / what / OK / orange squash / OK / all / what about / orange / mango squash / so / dealing / fruits / add / I am not ... / Gilbert / is that correct? / is what I've just said correct? / fruits / water is added to them, and / that / right / pineapple, mango, orange / banana / add / s__

well / tell / tea / coffee / head / hot drink of the year / problem / then / raised / certain / we can't / far / BBC / black c__ drink / call / well-known / know / Scottish drink / say / bad / Scottish / irony / black c__ / yes / later / quite confusing, innit? / when / idea / anyway / take it back / call / trying to establish now, ladies and gentlemen / quite / suggesting that / too confusing / go with / black currant drink / is / correct / theory that, no no no no no, / squash is / generally / and / black currant drink / something / separate to that / feature / a / black currant drink / talking / feature 2 / big / Big Tea nd Coffee Off / comments: hot / favorite / always / two for s__ / tea / nearly / so / enough emails / hot squash / always / staff room / school / either tea or coffee / scores / one / two at the moment. ...Absurd. Um ... / before / is / that / Yeah. OK. Uh ... / age of / All right, grandad. / my age / de-caf coffee" says / count that / coffee / hot water, Rhod / I've never understood that / lemon / hot water / it's far too healthy, isn't it? / weird / people / taste / pretend / cleansing / cleansing, yeah. We / way to London / in front of people / dear / tea-bag in cup / coffee / disgusting / what / detail / help us / tea / coffee / coffee, black, no sugar / have / whoffee / coffee and whiskey / that wakes you up in the morning / from Newport / morning / morning / don't do it, kids / dear / I have to say / I do like / say / I prefer tea / tea / well done / stupid / final / "Always coffee", says / all the way / dear / I like / Great. / Hi Rhod and Korkey / coffee / tea / ignore / probably the best one. ... I don't know / confused / I think / get / well / done / six for tea / two / somebody's asking / what's / yes / do you know what / agree / shake / whatever in it / get / posh coffee / little something / whatever / it is coffee / concensus developing / black currant / need to know about / know

seven / two / separate feature / spin-off feature / is / black / currant / drink / something different / waiting / staff / bring / to bring them through / not / am / coming through / handing / I'm just / read / that's / genuinely / prefers / more / tea person / interesting / I'm also / I can't pretend / well / come / do / sustain / do / sustain / sustain / fake-interest / mate / resign / it is / come on / what / sad / exactly / a little bit of me / also / one / genuinely / all / all / black c__ / well / known / say / squash / somebody / cup of M__ the black c__ drink / orange / other / no / one / because / not / dave / really / too sciency / give / gut / Dave / bottle / it says / black / juice / water / surely / saying / know / you know / dilution / good point / just / gut / or not, Dave / what's / Ian / valid / not / for / enough / without / occurred to me / myself / think / well / self / vote / entirely factual / in / thanks / kind of, with you / tea / said / tea / sorry / bad / conscience / out / coffee / by the same measurement / I really am / more / hi / this is / yeah / like / this is / 15 / listening from Holland / back / sure / bad / say / welcome home / apologize / opinion / no / black c__ / drink / squash / tea please / read / two / tea / cup of tea / no / fine / hello, Rhod and Korkey / from / second / come / meaty / tea-or-coffee debate / rhod / tea / surely / coffee's turn / there / phrase / out / this / never / broadcast / hard to sustain this / until / eight / left / injection / peak / game

new / show / know / trying / maybe you're not / people / response / people / loving / fact they do / tea / tea / come / back / eight seven / hot / squash / coffee / early start / whereas / tea / little / little / little / little / outside / involved / yeah / minute / all / do / without / which is / as you / behaving / very / drink / in this race / human / human tea / is listening / nuh / interesting for a second / very early / went / tea / just gently / quietly / calmly / crept / any fuss / any ado / ceremony / now / I imagine / boxer shorts / coffee / literally / up / tea / phoned / papers / pajymas / went / car round / tea / hyper / tea for me / says / ok / tea / look at this. look at this / coffee / think / yes / kept / race / genuinely / into / thought / job / resign / all over it / show / sony /

do you know what / lined / loads / stuff / baby perfume / people / good / bloke / look / 14 offenses / interesting / in an hour / amazing / challenge / at home / what / shoplift / pants down / what / very / try / at / fair play / condon / crime / hour / busy criminal / been hit / busy criminal / anyway, / interesting / tea versus coffee / result / and / spin-off feature, which is / black / say / name / squash / moment / final / interesting / black / genuinely / no / black / different / important / democracy / black / obviously / drink / stated / web / loser / current / contribution / yourself / related / of / course / then / concentrated / bottle / lie / Korkey / dear / of / s__ / immediately / back / tea / that / ten / both / tea / when / answer / breakfast / enough / ten / had / not / ten / too / definitely / 11 / all / branding / special / who / exactly / tea / coffee / black / definitive / guess / neck / like

if / 11

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